It Is Selfish To Be In A Relationship If You Are Not Happy With Yourself

Will Smith said it best. He said; “Her happiness is not my responsibility. She should be happy and I should be happy individually. Then we come together and share our happiness. Giving someone a responsibility to make you happy when you can’t do it for yourself is selfish.”

I could not agree with him more. A lot of relationships fail nowadays and this is one of the main reasons.

No one is truly happy so they depend on external forces for their happiness. People either buy material things for temporary happiness. Or they get in to a relationship so they feel less lonely.

But depending on someone else for your happiness and using them so you don’t feel alone is super selfish.

People are supposed to add to your happiness. People are not supposed to be your happiness because they can leave you at any time.


You have to love yourself first. You have to be happy with yourself because that is who you are spending the rest of your life with. The only one truly there for you at the end of the day, is you.

You cannot give someone happiness if you do not have it yourself. You cannot give someone $100 if you only have $20. You can’t give someone 100% of your happiness if you only have 20% yourself.

Two unhappy people trying to share the happiness they don’t have will not work. You may seem happy at first because you are no longer lonely. But it won’t last.

Some people keep changing partners just so they don’t have to change themselves. It is selfish and unhealthy.

You need to stop searching for the love of your life. What you need to do is love your life and the right person will appear. To attract happiness you need to be operating on the frequency of happiness. You cannot attract what you don’t have.

It’s Okay To Be Single and “Alone”

To be alone does not mean being lonely.

If you are not happy whilst spending time alone with yourself, then you need to fix that.

You need to practice self love and acceptance.

The solution isn’t going out and buying things or jumping in to a relationship and depending on those things for your happiness.

How do you expect people to like you if you don’t even like yourself?

Being in a relationship when you don’t love yourself can actually make you even feel more lonely.

Moving Forward

I’m not saying that if you’re in a relationship, to end it immediately.

I’m saying you need to work on yourself first.

Take a break and both of you spend time working on yourselves individually. Find true happiness and love within.

Imagine a relationship where both of you are full of happiness and you come together and share that happiness instead of depending on each other for happiness.

It doesn’t do anyone good if you have to tear down yourself to build someone up. You should each already be fully built and then come together to build even further.

Here is one of my favorite quotes that I’ve seen in awhile:

Take Control Of Your Life

If you are unhappy stop depending on others. It is time to take control of your life.

Finding happiness within is easier than it may seem.

There are always 3 choices when faced with something. Accept it, change it or leave it.

If you are unhappy with your life you need to accept it for what it is. Or you need to change it. Or you need to leave that old life behind and start over.

The biggest problem is people are too caught up on their past.

Carrying around that unnecessary baggage will always keep you from moving forward.

The past is the past. Shit happens. But the past is gone. It doesn’t exist. It only exists in your mind. Just let it go and move on. There is nothing you can do about it if it already happened.

But what you can do is focus on the present and make the most out of every moment and create a better future.

Love Yourself

Take the time today to work on yourself.

Stop worrying about other people. Just focus on yourself.

There is no better time than now. Stop saying you will do it tomorrow. Take control of your life today.

Start with 5 pushups, 5 sit-ups. Start with one healthy meal. Read 1 chapter of a book. Meditate for 30 seconds. Stay off your phone for 1 hour straight.

Whatever it is. Just start small. Doing anything to improve your life is better than doing nothing at all. No matter how small it is.

Accept your past for what it is. Learn from the experiences and move on.

Take a deep breath and live in the moment. All you have is Right Now. That is all that exists. Make the most of it.

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